sitting cross-legged on the grass in the local park, juuzou counted his stitches. it was a common occurrence for him - specifically when he got bored and he didn’t want to cause too much trouble. as much as he loved causing trouble, he was also a figure of the law, being a detective and all, and could only get away with causing so much trouble before his supervisors got mad at him. stitching himself in public, cleaning his knives and guns in public…. they were all such silly rules juuzou had to abide by. why can’t a man just do his own thing in peace? juuzou would never know the answer.
one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen… ah, fuck it.
there was to many to count, so instead he played with a lose end of a stitch. he’d have to remember to cut that when he got home or to the office, a lose stitch could make for a very bloody situation later on if it got caught on anything or came out. he ignored the glances that were getting sent his way by people passing by. they were normal, and that was no fun at all. they were all wondering why he had stitches all over himself probably. it’s a question juuzou gets asked a lot, no one believes him when he says its just body modification - everyone just thinks that he’s crazy. well, they’re not entirely wrong after all.
truth be told, juuzou doesn’t even know why he cuts himself up and sews himself back together every day. he just remembers doing it since he was a kid. was it a way to cope with pain? no, that couldn’t be it. or could it? juuzou shook the thought out of his head rapidly, earning more looks from those around him. why was it a bad thing to be crazy? normal was boring anyway.
as much as juuzou wanted to deny it, he has a reason in the back of his mind for his constant need to stitch himself. he keeps it pushed back and tries to ignore it, but sometimes he just can’t. the constant need to make sure he doesn’t feel pain - its important to him that he doesn’t feel any. the less pain he feels, the more he can succeed at his job and the less remorse he’ll feel when killing someone.
though truth be told, he doesn’t feel remorse for killing people to begin with - especially ghouls and other monsters of the like. they deserve to die in juuzou’s mind - for all the heartache and evil they’ve spread across the world. juuzou supposes thats why he does what he does, to stop evil. he misses his days of just ghoul killing exclusively. it was fun for him to let them think that they were going to win and right when they were least expecting it…..
bam! right through the heart, off with their head, or anything else juuzou felt like doing. how violent he was to them varied on his mood. if he was in a good mood he might let them die quickly. but even then, there was a chance that he could make it long and painful. it was all up to his mood, after all. but either way, it would end up being something crazy, that was one thing that people could expect of him.
growing up juuzou, or then known as rei, was a generally calm and quiet kid. it was as he got older and starting schooling that he became more hyper in nature and stopped having any morals or limits with anything. he had to have no morals if he killed one of his friends from school for being a ghoul. they used to be close but then he discovered they were ghouls and well, that went out the window. of course he only killed one of them so the other would eventually come back to get him but when she did he would be ready.
come to think of it - everything changed for juuzou when he found out he was raised by a ghoul. big madam trained him to feel nothing - pain and emotions and have no morals at all. she called it treatment for his insanity but he called it tourture. he cursed that woman in his mind. he was thankful for what she taught him, but detsted her exsistence for what she turned him in to. a killing machine with no remorse for anything or anyone - except for his ex-partner and mentor yukinori shinohara. it wasn't until after he died that juuzou realized he did have a small amount of feeling left in his body. it affected him deeply and made him question himself. was he feeling emotions again? he couldn't tell, since it was only that one person he felt any feelings for and those were only negative feelings. sure, he gets happy when he walks into the station and starts talking to his fellow detectives and he's happy when he is killing ghouls, but what else could that mean? was he betraying everything that big madam taught him by having these emotions? juuzou could care less about her anyways, she was the reason he started killing ghouls and became a detective anyway.
juuzou looked down at his arms and saw there were tiny splotches of red appearing at the end of the stitch he had been playing with. ”oh golly, guess i’ll need to redo this one!” he said out loud to nobody in particular. he often spoke out loud to get a vast majority of his thoughts out because his mind was often too busy elsewhere. he fished in his pocket to see if he had a spare needle and stitch, and to his amusement he did, and proceeded to put himself back together, clipping his hair out of his face as to be able to see what he was doing. even though he could do it with his eyes closed - but he didn’t want to have to clean up a bigger mess than he already had to do from the stitch coming undone.
finishing up repairing his stitch, he put away his needle and what remained of the stitching wire back in his pocket, looking up and enjoying the outside. he was sat next to a playground, waiting for the opportune moment of all children being gone from it to make his move onto the jungle gym. a kid at heart, juuzou often found himself hanging upside-down on the jungle gym whenever he visited the park. he was only 19, so he got away with acting like a child most of the time. of course, it made it difficult for anybody to take him remotely serious, but he was fine with that.
it wasn’t about people’s opinions of him, it was about the job and serving justice to those who deserve it - more or less. sure, juuzou’s way of working was a little bit obscure compared to some other people, but as long as it got the job done what the hell should anybody else care.
hanging from the jungle gym, juuzou closed his eyes and began a meditation. here he would stay until someone kicked him out and told him to get a life.