someone once told him that if he didn't take risks, he wasn't going to get what he wanted in life. for the most part, kuroko wasn't really interested in much, but he'd definitely taken some sort of risks when he was younger. being on the basketball team was a risk, especially considering the fact he was short, weak, and had an almost invisible presence. it was something he'd grown up with, had learned how to deal with, but kuroko was someone that was easily forgettable. people met him once, but they quickly forgot about him; either that, or they never noticed him at all. it was a boon for him when he was on the team, as he worked very well with all the other boys around him, and he was able to accentuate their particular talents by basically using his own that he'd called 'misdirection'. frankly, he still used it today for various things, oftentimes to escape from painful social situations. kuroko still wasn't really the best when it came to interacting with other people, but in college now, with the trials and tribulations of high school behind him, he didn't really have to. he could go to class and then go home, only forced to interact when he was partnered with other people--half the time said peers didn't even know who he was. it used to hurt him, it used to be a lot of trouble, but these days, it was what it was. he couldn't do anything to make himself more visible, and honestly, he didn't really want to. he was majoring in english literature with a minor in creative writing for a reason. if he was an author, an editor, whatever, he didn't really need to do much of anything with groups of people. he could sit in his home at his table and edit, or write, and just generally be alone. not that he didn't have friends, sure he did, but a lot of them--the boys he played basketball with in school--went to different universities. aomine was on a scholarship, and kise had chosen to model more before going to school, and the others were spread all over japan. being alone was alright, kuroko thought.
though, in hindsight, he was certainly not alone now, as he packed up his bag, swirling the rest of his milkshake in its paper cup. this whole situation was strange to begin with, but he'd taken those words to heart, and he had gone after not just something he wanted, but someone. it was risky as all hell, and he could have easily been reported for sexual harassment. kagami-san had started here, probably not even much older than kuroko himself, as his creative writing professor's assistant. kuroko knew absolutely nothing about him except for the fact he looked great in a waistcoat, tie, and glasses, and kuroko found himself really daydreaming during class. unfortunately said daydreams were uncharacteristically filthy in nature and usually involved himself being bent over his professor's desk with the tall and handsome assistant looming over him. he entertained it in class, he entertained it at home, and it was three days ago that he'd approached kagami-san and posed probably the most blunt question ever. what would you say if i asked if you wanted to fuck? he could hear it still in his head, the shock and confusion, and his expression had been neutral as it always was. after he'd gone home he had been mortified with himself over the fact he'd even ask that outright, but he'd never really been good at subtlety and flirtations. it was easier to just ask, to just be blunt and honest. he hadn't gotten a negative in response. sure, it'd been awkward, and kagami-san had been flustered, but he'd said yes. kuroko was not ready then, and he shouldn't have asked until he was ready to deliver. he'd bowed politely, thanked him for the answer, and told the assistant he'd see him next class. it took all of kuroko's willpower to actually go out and get what they needed, because who carried that stuff on them? was he really prepared to bring it up again now? not really, but he hadn't wanted to just be an inappropriate tease.
leaving his bag on a table near the front, he walked to the door and the nearby garbage can before taking a long, last sip of his milkshake and dropping the finished cup in. peering down the hallway, he grabbed the double doors and closed them soundly, standing on his toes to click the upper lock into place and bending to lock the second. he didn't know if the other's eyes were on him or not, or if kagami-san even noticed he was still here. taking a small breath, he turned on his heel and rifled through his bag for two items that he shoved into his pocket. pushing his glasses up onto his nose more fully--reading, he didn't need them all the time, but he had yet to take them off--he surveyed the room, blue eyes landing hard on the desk. nerves surged in him, making his skin lightly flush, and kuroko wrung his fingers together. he hadn't been planning on fucking here, but they could start here, right? that was, if the other still wanted to. slowly approaching the side of the desk, he shifted some things over, and slid right up onto its surface. so rare that kuroko found any kind of sexual attraction in anyone, for a long time he didn't think that he was interested in romance, but kagami-san had hit every single button from the moment kuroko first saw him. clearing his throat, he shoved his hand into his pocket, and pulled out the silver wrapped package and the small purple tube, which he set down, and casually pushed over. "if i asked if you wanted to fuck, what would you say?" he asked, his tone a little bit cheeky at that, and he was practically vibrating with anxiety. "i, ah, came prepared today. if your answer is still the same, kagami-san."