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|HEART[❤]SIGH > BEACHES > THE SOUND OF SILENCE.|
|Posted by: LEVI ACKERMAN Dec 21 2017, 12:25 AM|
the vision that was planted in my brain still remains
the ocean, as it turned out, was more than levi thought it would be. he hadn't really understood why armin had such a childish wish such as to see the ocean, figured there couldn't be much that was good about it. mostly, levi just didn't care about the wishes of some brat of a kid. but...everyone had dreams; selfish, innocent, outlandish. everyone was free to have their dreams, everyone was free to follow them. he'd encouraged erwin to give up his. it wasn't foolish of him to want to save the world, to make sure humans didn't go extinct, to protect, to do his very best in fighting the abominations beyond the walls that kept them like birds in a cage. it wasn't stupid. and, as he stood on the beach almost every day for a full year, wanting to see the sea wasn't stupid either. he didn't have these dreams, he didn't have ambitions, and he never had, because levi knew that he was an expendable life. from the moment he was born he hadn't been much, just another accidental child of a mother that had to sell herself just to get by. he'd been an unfortunate circumstance, another mouth to feed, something to take care of that she shouldn't have even had to. he hadn't felt guilt as a child but, thinking back on it, she'd surely died because of him, because of her inability to support the child that she seemed to love and didn't regret. levi regretted being born. in the time he was born, in the underground, to a mother that needed someone's help, not a child. regardless, he couldn't change shit now, and that still rang true now. he couldn't fix his fuck-ups and he had to live with them.
that was easier said than done, of course, but it'd been a year so far and he'd...well, he wasn't doing much better, but he was functioning. he had people fooled, that levi knew, because his life here was so normal and nondescript. he was just an enigma that owned a tea shop and was likely to kill you just glaring at you. no one knew him, no one knew his world, and levi didn't know if he was comfortable with that or not. on one hand, it was great to not have to be confined to the walls, to not have to risk your life day in and day out, though levi didn't fear death. he knew it was inevitable, inescapable, he was just surprised he hadn't been killed in the slums and that so many others perished before him. really though, what right did he have to life? he didn't particularly have any will to continue on living, he'd just become a tool for a government organization that threw soldiers out to fight dangerous predators, a living puppet for a man with a vision for the future. he hadn't understood erwin at first and levi wondered if he ever truly would (of course, he wouldn't now, because there was no chance) past his desire to actually kill the man. he'd been held on a chain and leash for a long time, until he'd fallen into an easy rhythm and appreciation being an extension of erwin. not exactly property, not something precious to collect, but just like the maneuver gear, a tool. an item. something useful. it'd been the first time he actually felt of use to anyone else, not just himself. regardless, he'd risked his life over and over, and for what? perhaps because he'd started to believe in erwin's ideal world for them, or perhaps because he'd come to care.
he thought about this these, and far too often, as he watched the water ebb and flow of the water. it was pushed and pulled by an unseen current, something strong and just under the surface, a force of nature. his gear felt suddenly heavy on his body, all the straps too tight and overbearing, and levi squared his jaw and focused, instead, on looking at the reflections on the water. he came here near sundown every day, remained until the sun had disappeared beneath the seemingly flat surface of the ocean, and then went home. it was something of a ritual, something cathartic, he wasn't sure, but he'd been working with his maneuver gear today with the hopes he could build up the strength in his knee once more. he'd injured it before everything went to shit, and though it wasn't the first time (he'd twisted his ankle often enough), it was the last, and it was the worst. thankfully, medicine here was intriguing, and it worked better, but he'd still had to take it easy and that meant he could not fly. not that he truly thought about flying anymore anyway, he had no real reason other than to keep in shape. the ocean was a lull in his mind as he stared at it, the small waves, the way they wet the shoreline and packed down the sand, up until the moment awareness screamed back at him. something fluttered some feet away, passed in front of his face and spiraled into the air. it was instinct that had levi's eyes finding it quickly, holding onto the grips as he powered the gas and angled himself into the air. no need to use the grapple, as the mechanism would do just fine, levi reached out and snatched whatever it was--fabric, he noted--and twisted so he could land in the sand.
pain, sharp and hot, lanced from his knee as he landed too hard on his left foot and levi buckled a little. sucking in a breath, he remembered a day where he wouldn't have even shown a glimmer of pain. standing, shakily at that, levi steeled himself and looked down at what he'd gotten his hands on. there was no time to process it, for its owner was approaching him quickly. favoring his left side in order to shift weight to his other side, he ignored the stinging pain left behind and held out his hand and the item in it. "yours?" he asked simply, expression blank as it usually was as he looked up to regard them.
OPEN + levi comes to the beach p much every day and watches the sunset and basically gets lost in thought. so today he was working with his maneuver gear cause he hasn't in a few months, is nursing a sore knee, and happened to catch a wayward article of clothing from someone! but like ok so levi isn't really nice, per se, but he's been lonely for a super fucking long time so just. hang out with him even tho he's mean =/