everyone thinks you dropped out of the garrison. the truth of the matter is that you are expelled. your attitude is the problem, the fact you fought almost all the time. truthfully, fighting was the only thing that really reminded you that you were alive. pain was the only thing worth feeling because it was ever-present and just demanded
to be felt. so you endure bloody noses and black eyes, you deal with broken bones and even a nearly punctured lung because you just can't stop
your expulsion is a long time coming. frankly, you'd been trying to get expelled. nothing seemed like it was worth it anymore, there was no reason to try. angry and explosive, you turn your attention on more destructive habits. you steal your speeder, fix it up yourself, and turn yourself into a mercenary for the year to come. that's when the strange feelings start to come to you. they get worse and worse each day, thumping in your head, pulsing through your blood. you become obsessed with finding just what is calling to you from the middle of nowhere.
the night the pod falls from the sky you know you need to go seek it out. something, somewhere has been speaking to you for months. you have to find it. whatever you're looking for, the person that fell from the sky can help you find answers. that's what it tells you. so you set up the trap to retrieve that person, whoever they may be. as explosions go off in the distance, and you slide inside the quarantine tent, the last person you expected to see was shiro. it feels like your entire world comes to a slow stop as you stand there. there's really no time to sit and think about it or to lament, so you cut him free and try to leave, but come face to face with three people you don't recognize. well, almost, because you'd recognize lance's fucking loud mouth anywhere.
that's when your strange adventure through the universe starts. its all hard to picture. first, finding the very thing that had been calling to you for a full year, to being brought to a wormhole in space. you'd never admit that you were angry, jealous, that the first lion you meet chose to bond with lance. of all people. you don't like these people you're with, you feel uncomfortable, reverting back to your history of being a loner. brash and bold and judgmental. you want to think about the things shiro always told you, his optimistic silver lining, but even he feels bitter. whatever happened to him draws rare empathy in you; you want to know, you want him to tell you, but he doesn't.
you want to be good enough for him.
on the new planet you land on, you meet an alien race--or rather, just two of them. you are a dark, pessimistic, bossy cloud. unfortunately, the role of leader was never meant to be yours. your pride makes you angry, but even still, all you have to do is look at shiro and you can't bring yourself to stay angry. you hate that. you want to fester in your anger. you want to hate everything, you just want to be angry. you want to hurt like you always have because its all you know how to do. but giving into that would let shiro know he failed and, for shiro, you might just do anything. he's the closest thing you've had to family in a long time.
its why pidge's entirely selfish desire to go after her (honestly, she wasn't fooling anyone) family was so infuriating. after meeting the alteans and gathering all the lions that you are to lead in order to form the legendary voltron, its a rocky road to teamwork. you've always cared so much more than you let on, always felt for other people in ways you wish you didn't. it doesn't make you any less impulsive or headstrong, and while you can understand other people's points, if you don't agree, you can become explosive. there is true fire in your eyes when, after just saving an entire native village, protecting the innocent as a team, like you're supposed to be, pidge says she's still leaving.
there are nearly angry tears in your eyes as you growl at her. you know what its like to be without family, but your sense of duty is so much stronger; even shiro should understand. lance and pidge and hunk talk about family, about missing their homes, and you don't miss yours. you have nothing to go back to, anyway...your family...is here. but you're still not good enough for them, either. you're tired of being overlooked. you snap at her and you know you shouldn't, but it makes you so angry. you're supposed to be liberating the universe from ten thousand year's worth of damage. the needs of the many outweigh the wants of the few.
you don't know who told you that. maybe it was your father, maybe it was shiro. pidge was so exhilarated after forming voltron, after defeating your first galran monster, why couldn't she just see what was in front of her? it wasn't just about the five of you anymore, this was about the whole universe. you just want them to see what you and shiro already know; you are a team. a team is supposed to trust each other and work together.
your first real mission tests everyone and pushes them to their limits. after the invasion of the castle, after pidge decides that she will stay, you set off to save the balmerans from what would surely be their untimely end. you realize, during your fight with a second galran super-weapon, that all of you are a team. a real team. you're all a little fragile, scared, and some of you broken, but you can still be something. your father always wanted you to do something great with your life. maybe this was it. maybe its not such a bad thing you were born after all.