TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR MENTIONS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT AND DEATH
my childhood, where do i begin with it? honestly, it was quite blissful, just me and my mom and my dad. i loved my father more than anything, aspired to be him even, as he was a successful business man that still made time for his family. it was idyllic with just the three of us. my father would come home from work to my mother, the perfect image of a housewife, and me, his perfect daughter that did nothing wrong in his eyes. we would watch cartoons together while i drew scribbled images at the coffee table while my mother cooked dinner. i would tell him about my day at school and whatever we did and he would praise or make suggestions, typically the former. it was good and i miss that innocent time that seems too long ago.
when i was twelve years old, my father didn't come home from work. i was devastated, to say the least, after my mother informed me that he had died in a plane crash on his way to a business meeting in chicago. it was rough, as i was his princess. my mom took up a job as a receptionist at one of the many law firms in manhattan and we moved from our somewhat plush life in the aforementioned borough to a two room apartment in queens. it wasn't that bad, now that i look back on it, but it was much less exquisite next to what i had grown up with. i transferred to a less-prestigious middle school and had to make brand new friends, so practically a fate worse than death for a pre-teen.
however, a discovery that i made several months after my dad's passing changed my life. in his files that i had been snooping through, i found one talking about his real job. walter hardy was no stockbroker on wall street, but a professional cat burglar, breaking into people's homes, stealing their jewelry, and selling it for money. he had not actually died, rather been incarcerated for his crimes, which was a relief, as i had yet to let go of him. i knew that i wanted to be even more like him once i learned that, but better, as i wouldn't get caught.
during my freshman year of college, tragedy struck yet again. i was lucky to have been given a small scholarship so i could study business at empire state university, a dream that i had had for a while, to use as a cover for my actual job that i wanted. i had a boyfriend, ryan, who was a few years older than me that i began dating shortly after the first semester started. it was going well enough until it happened. we were at a party at ryan's fraternity, the name of which i no longer even remember, and he slipped something into my drink.... i'm certain that you can guess what happened next. i woke up early the next morning on the floor of the front room of the frat house, my panties and my tank top that i had been wearing missing. i didn't know how to handle the whole situation. i ended up dropping out of college within the next month and moving back into my mother's apartment, my grief surrounding me like a too tight scarf, suffocating me.
i stewed my feelings for weeks, refusing to change the ratty old sweatshirt and yoga pants that i had donned the moment that i had returned home. after a lot of thinking about and overanalyzing what had happened, my grief transformed into rage towards that fucker ryan. i couldn't stand the idea of him, well, living after what he had done to me. i took up classes in kickboxing and martial arts and acrobatics, determined that i would be the one to end his life. months and months of training passed by as i threw myself into it, growing physically stronger and more agile that i had ever been. my vengeance would come, even if it ended up killing me in the process... and yet it never did. ryan was hit by a drunk driver on the way home from picking up booze at the corner mart. i knew that i should have been happy that he had died, but no. i couldn't be, as it wasn't me making him confront death himself.
i couldn't handle this defeat. instead of wallowing in it like i did the first time, i acted. i set out, learning the tools of my father's trade, how to pick a lock with actual picks rather than a paperclip or whatever it is that people always talk about in books, how to crack any security alarm with just a few key wire cuts and number combination, how to outsmart the police so you wouldn't get caught. there were a lot of things that i needed to learn and i was ready to take up my position as the new cat burglar to look out for. it was tough, no doubt, especially trying to find someone to apprentice under that was not imprisoned or a loner. i didn't, but i made it work, learning from youtube videos and books and movies. even the last option, which might come across as a silly as they are incredibly unrealistic, but they did end up offering some insight, mostly on what not to do.
i became the black cat for the first time on a chilly november evening. my first mission was not simple, but i knew what i was getting myself into. i planned on attempting to break my father out of prison, which i knew would prove to be quite difficult seeing that he was in maximum security. however, it would be wonderful for my mother, as he was dying. she had visited him, as she was now aware that i knew about his actual location, and had been told that he had gotten tuberculosis. the doctors at the prison had tried everything but it soon became clear that he only had a few weeks to live. i was willing to do anything for the woman that raised me and had comforted me in my darkest hours, so this was for her. she deserved to be around her husband during the last few days of his life on earth. it was going half decent. i had found his cell and was in the process of breaking him out. and then i met him.
spider-man. where do i begin with him? when he came swooping in to stop me from breaking my father out of prison, i was intrigued to say the least. there was something just so sexy abut being this mysterious man's foil and i began to embrace my role as a bad girl. we flirted in the times that we interacted, thinly veiled snarky remarks that were clearly showing that we were interested in each other.
naturally, i made the first move, kissing him impulsively on the top of the chrysler building. it was so goddamn exhilarating. we began dating soon after, me abandoning my life of crime for him, to show him that i cared. we became vigilantes that worked together and i didn't want it to be marked up by me learning about his true identity. that would ruin the fun in it all.
when i met peter for the first time, not as spider-man, i was disappointed in how fucking normal he was. he wasn't as alluring as his superhero counterpart, but i couldn't let that show. that was just wrong. this relationship was clearly doomed from the start, but could i see that? absolutely not. it only became more strained once both doctor octopus and the owl attempted to kill me, failing obviously, but i felt that i had nothing to offer to peter except being a damsel in distress that he could save. i didn't like it at all.
so peter left, not forever, but to fight in the superhero wars. i was lonely and desperate. i wanted to feel worthy of his love and affection and was certain that we could be the next crime-fighting duo that was also romantically involved with each other. so i did it without second thought. i made a deal with kingpin so that i could have actual powers and so that i could actually mean something. i didn't really specify as to what i wanted necessarily, which would end up being my downfall.
living on the edge
my powers. they made me feel special. like i actually meant something and was more than just the broken girl that learned how to fight trope. i felt powerful. but the jinx, it ended up breaking my heart again, which probably was what kingpin, that dirty bastard, had planned. bad luck clung to me like i was its only hope of survival and anyone that came in my path was affected, even peter. it was disheartening to see him get hurt and have things happen to him because of me.
i honestly didn't want to end things with him, as he was the first person that i could actually love since i was in college, but it was for the better. peter was getting frustrated to, with my short-sighted decision to make the deal with kingpin and me apparently loving his spider-man persona more than the real him. i was hoping to have a dinner with him so we could talk things out then end it mutually, but i wasn't given that benefit. my heart broke in two before being smashed in a billion little pieces after the one minute phone call that occurred ten minutes before our reservations.
because this jinx was so bothersome even though we weren't together anymore, peter took me to see doctor strange, leaving shortly after i met him. the doctor did something, i'm not entirely sure what. but it made my bad luck dissipate as quickly as it was thrust upon me. however, the spell or whatever he did affected me... i was given more cat-like abilities, like infrared vision and retractable claws in my suit. pleasantly surprised despite my bad experience with powers, i was determined to use them for good, so that i could win back peter.
not afraid to die
i still laugh at my naïveté back in new york. how i thought that i could be good even though i was clearly rotten to the core. the next thing i knew, i was in a new world, something called elysion. i live in the capitol, a cityscape much like new york. i still miss home though. i miss my mother and the few friends that i had managed to make and peter, even though i would never admit it. i'm happy here, somewhat, as i've returned to my old life, the one where i robbed every penny from the rich for my own benefit. it's good to be doing what i know i was meant to do. and that realization of me being a baddie was what heightened fun of being a thief again. i don't know what this new world has in store for me, but what's life without a little bit of fun?